“Compare’n Yo Ass to Fat Rocks of Crack” A variation of Shakespeare by Matthew Dobson

Any Shakespeare fans? This is a very famous poem of his:

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate;
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date;
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

For my ENC1102 class we were told to rewrite it with a modern twist:

“Compare’n Yo Ass to Fat Rocks of Crack”

Compare’n yo ass to fat rocks of crack
You be bigga and don’t burn up so quick
Them boulders will give ya a heart attack
Smoke that shit it only lasts two minutes
Sometimes that glass pipe will burn up yo lips
And that high be gone before I’m finished
Then I’m left on the floor in little bits
Rocks found in the carpets my only wish
Now Yo high that shit be lastin all day
One hit of Yo ass is all it’s taken
Never even close to goin away
This high might last forever no faken
If my heart is even slightly beat’n
Ima smoke Yo ass without retreating

I even stayed true to the iambic pentameter and rhyme sceme.
I hope my teacher digs it.